How to Understand What is Loneliness

By: Michael Lam, MD, MPH


Fear of what is lonelinessIf you go back to the very beginning of life when it was said that God created Adam, but as he needed a companion, God made Eve, it will impose the idea that people are not made to live alone and we all need someone by our side. Of course this is true in the long run, as no one would like to spend their whole life living by themselves with a  couple of cats, a dog and a guinea pig. But there are moments in life when we feel the need to be alone and the more we struggle against it, the more we manifest our fear of looking the truth in the eyes. We all need to decide what is loneliness?

Recognize What is Loneliness and Face the Truth

People around us make us forget our faults, things that we did and that we are not proud of. But in order to continue living our life and to be able to put all behind us we have to face the truth and forgive ourselves for the mistakes that we did and the people that we mistreated. This is where the significant role of what is loneliness is. Loneliness is not isolation and the sooner we realize this, the quicker we will be able to get out of the vicious circle of self-pity and self-accusation. It’s not solitude, it is insulation from the world outside so that we can look deep within ourselves and make some resolutions. When we say that loneliness is not isolation we mean by this that this is a necessary state of mind which gives us time to realize where our life is going to. Usually we feel lonely after a divorce, a bad break-up, after losing a friend, etc. Jumping from one relationship to another just because we are afraid of being alone, doesn’t contribute anything to your new beginning. Unfortunately it is doomed to end quickly because you didn’t give yourself enough time to realize your mistakes and correct your behavior. If you accept that loneliness is not isolation at a certain moment you will have a solution to all the problems that bothered you when you were not alone. This is why being alone is taking a step back from a situation so that you are able to look at it from outside as an observer. This is the best way to make an assessment of your attitude and values and change your conduct towards people.

Withdrawing, What is Loneliness, and the Stress Response

In the face of personally devastating situations and the stress that comes with them, withdrawing without loneliness may be a beneficial response. When stress like this persists, the adrenal glands may get to the point of being depleted. This condition, known as Adrenal Fatigue, brings with it little or no cortisol, the prime stress-fighting hormone, being secreted. Symptoms such as sleep difficulty, fluctuating blood sugar levels, and the inability to think clearly may result. Withdrawing from stressful situations may enable more successful adaptation.
The symptoms often seen in adrenal fatigue are viewed as discrete symptoms from discrete body organs by most physicians. This leads to less than optimal treatment. A more comprehensive viewpoint such as that seen in the NeuroEndoMetabolic (NEM) Stress ResponseSM model leads to looking at the underlying body systems when faced with the sometimes vague symptoms of adrenal fatigue. This model considers the neuro-affective system to be responsible for regulating mood, sleep, and thinking ability.

What is loneliness and young maleWithdrawing and spending time alone to put life back together may be a beneficial way to deal with stress. Research indicates loneliness to be a stressor that can lead to more demand on the adrenal glands and may become a source of chronic stress. Time alone, dealing with whatever brought on the loneliness can serve to relieve the feeling and decrease the stress it brings. This kind of withdrawing leads to healing instead of continuing stress.

Loneliness is a feeling of disconnect from other people. You can feel lonely even in a crowd. The feeling is what you label it, not necessarily a condition. Withdrawing is also what you label it, so even being away from people can be healing as long as your attitude is more positive. Being away from people or other stressors is an important step in healing.


Fear of what is loneliness

© Copyright 2013 Michael Lam, M.D. All Rights Reserved.